Your Bonus Materials
Three tools to use alongside the book, plus a guided audio. Tap any script to copy it to your clipboard.
Scripts Pack
These are the scripts. Use them as written or adapt them lightly. Each one is built to do a specific job. Read them out loud once before you use them, so you can hear how they sound coming from you.
Quick Reset Checklist
The TEXT Method on a single page. Save this to your phone, or screenshot it and keep it where you can see it.
- Notice the spike: chest tightness, stomach drop, the urge
- Name it: "This is the spiral"
- Breathe: in for 4, out for 6, three minutes minimum
- Don't move on until your body has settled at least somewhat
- What did I actually see or hear?
- Is this one signal or a pattern?
- Is this evidence about today, or about us?
- What story is my brain adding to the data?
- Rephrase it: "My brain is offering me the story that..."
- Separate the story from the data underneath it
- Don't act for at least ten minutes
- Do one valued action: tea, walk, work, laundry
- If you reach out, ask for support, not certainty
- Whatever decision is forming, sleep on it
This is the whole method on one page. The book is the explanation. This is the practice.
7-Day Reset Plan
A guided week to put the work into your life. Each day is short. Don't skip days. Don't try to do them all at once.
Today, you're not changing anything. Every time you feel the spike or the pull to check, decode, or reassure, just notice it. By the end of the day you'll have a clearer picture of how often the loop is running.
The first time the spike happens, run the full TEXT sequence slowly. Don't rush the E and X steps. Write it out if that helps. Once is enough for today.
Every time the urge to text, check, or reach out comes from anxiety rather than genuine connection, set a ten-minute timer before you act. If it has settled, that's the data.
When the spike happens, do three minutes of extended exhale breathing before anything else. In for four, out for six or seven. The TEXT method only works when the alarm has partially settled.
If you need to reach out, use one of the scripts from Bonus 1 that asks for support or closeness. Not certainty. Notice whether asking for what you actually need changes how the conversation feels.
When the loop starts, say out loud: "This is the anxiety pattern. This is not the relationship." You don't have to believe it fully. You just have to say it.
- Which loop ran most this week?
- Which tool helped most?
- What's one thing you want to keep doing?
- Write one sentence: "When the spiral starts, I will _____."
The loop won't disappear. But a week of practice means you know it better now.
Daily Practice Audio
Guided Daily Practice
A guided audio version of the daily three-minute practice from the book. Use it when the relationship loop is running and you need something grounded to come back to. Works with or without headphones.